Learning to be independent

• Make up fun games where your child can practise saying “No”, for example“Does Daddy sleep in the bath?” “Does the cat say moo?”
  
  
• Don’t give your children a choice if there isn’t one. For example if you have to pick up an older child from school, don’t ask your toddlers if they wants to come, say “We’re going to the school in the car now”.
  
  
• If there is something they do not want to do, try to make a game of it. You could say “See if you can race me to the bath” or put a few drops of food colouring or bubble bath or a boat in the bath to make it more attractive.
  
  
• Give simple choices, for example with food and clothes. “Do you want to wearyour blue shirt or your red shirt, today?” (Some young children find it verydifficult to make choices for a while and may need you to choose for them.)
  
  
• Be positive. For example instead of saying “Don’t slam the door” say “I know that you can shut the door quietly, let’s see you do it”. Then give praise for learning a new skill.
  
  
• Give clear messages to your young children. If you justsay “No”, they may not know what you mean. Tell them
  exactly what you want them to do in simple words. For example “Don’t turn the knobs on the TV, they will
  break.” Give them something else such as an old radio to practise with. (You may have to physically move them
  away from the TV, or put the TV out of reach).
  
  
• If your children refuse to come with you and there is no time to use any of the above methods, pick them up and
  carry them, don’t threaten to leave them. This is very frightening for young children.