Develop Socially and Emotionally

Friends, peers… these are the social circles that seem to be more influential than what home and family used to be. What others think, especially the opposite sex, means a lot.

At times it feels like everything you do or say is under a microscope, which can be stressful when you worry about whether or not you are doing the “right thing” or feeling or behaving in the “right way”. There are two theories that have been formulated by a psychologist named David Elkind that might be able to explain some of the feelings you are having.

“The Imaginary Audience” is when you believe that others are preoccupied with your appearance and behaviour – even more than you are! It is the feeling you might have that everyone is watching your every move, and every single person on earth notices the acne on your face, for example. In truth, most people feel the same way and are more concerned with their own experience than what is going on with others. The spotlight isn’t really on you even when it feels like it.

“The Personal Fable” is when you feel that what you are going through is unlike any other experience in the world. While each of us is individual in our own ways, there are some experiences that are similar to different times of our lives. You’d be surprised at how many people you know, even older people in your life, have gone through some of the same things. You might be able to share experiences.

Sometime this “Fable” also makes you feel omnipotent and indestructible, which means that you might take greater risks than normal – trying alcohol or drugs that can get you hooked. Unfortunately being young and cool doesn’t exempt you from getting addicted to these substances. Often these things are only distractions from some of the confusing emotions that seem to pop up all the time! If you know what these feelings really mean, you are better able to deal with them in the real world, instead of needing artificial supports. Find out what some of your feelings are saying to you!